TIM news...
Death threats teach young missionary anger control
Samoan youth missionary Amouta Falani learned how to control his anger after facing death threats while staying at the Cape Town City mission for street children in South Africa, writes Beccy Beard of CWM News.
The street children were aggressive towards Falani from the first week of his placement in March, often throwing things at him. During a game of pool one of the boys threw a cue and ball at Falani.
"It was really hard for me to stay with these kinds of boys," said Falani. "I think the first moment I was afraid of the boys attack was when we first went there - I started being afraid of the boys, you know, that something was going to happen later."
He overcame his fear during the first couple of weeks but he became angry with them when they repeatedly misbehaved, once slapping a boy on the back for jumping the meal queue.
In April the boys became angry with him over a tape that he had borrowed, with permission, from a social worker at the home. The boys said the tape was for them and they wanted it back. Swearing, Falani gave them the tape but the boys remained angry.
Falani said: "The boy called me a mad dog and then that's why I got angry. I followed him to the kitchen - I wanted to speak to him - but I couldn't because he shouted back at me. So I went back again to a room.
"When I was inside, a boy came, sent by my partner Alice, to warn me to lock the door. I didn't know why. She had seen that that boy was looking for something inside the kitchen.
"I didn't lock the door I just closed it. He came inside holding a knife in his hand but I got a hockey stick - I just held it - and tried to push him away and he moved out of the room."
A social worker at the home suggested Falani leave because the boys were saying they would kill him before his placement ended, but he asked not to go.
Falani said: "I knew I had made a lot of mistakes so I was praying to God for the decision they would make: for them not to take me away. I prayed to God to give me another chance at the place to settle everything."
TIM coordinator Rev Natalie van Rooyen reconciled Falani and the boys by leading discussions between them and talking with them individually. Van Rooyen said: "Falani showed a lot of humility on that day and he faced his weaknesses with his anger and he asked for forgiveness and said he was sorry.
"It was wonderful that the relationship has grown through that. I think also the lesson came out for the boys that it's not all about macho-man. Falani is a rugby player and he is big and they saw his strength, but then they saw his humility."
During the discussion, van Rooyen organised visual exercises for the group to express themselves. Falani picked up an exercise book which, like a diary you could write everything down on, then turn over to a blank page - like a fresh start.
Falani said: "I learned a big lesson: that I couldn't control my anger."
He and the boys got along better after that. And the next time a boy misbehaved - taking some clothes out of the mission and throwing stones when Falani tried to retrieve them - Falani didn't get angry.
Falani spent six weeks at the city mission as his placement during the first half of CWM's Training in Mission (TIM) programme. The TIM programme brings youth from different CWM-member churches together to study and carry out mission together over 10 months, first in South Africa and then in India.
